Keeping Problems In Place
People who come to therapy do so because they are experiencing some kind of problem that is causing them pain and don’t know how to resolve it. Usually, there is some kind of pattern operating that we call a pattern of chronicity that is holding it in place. The developer of Integral Eye Movement Therapy, Andrew Austin, identified five of these such patterns.
As a therapist, I am looking for the manifestation of these patterns in my clients because I know that if they are not addressed, it will be difficult for the person to make the changes they want. These patterns are wholly unconscious of course. They have become established at some point in a person’s life to help the deal with certain situations or in an effort to protect themselves. In the therapeutic context, they can be evident in the therapy room simply because the person has had their problem for so long that at some level they don’t believe things can change for them.
For example when I was training in IEMT, someone I was working with in order to practise, demonstrated the pattern of chronicity known as three stage abreaction. This pattern is elaborated by an initial warning or signal that the person is beginning to, let’s say, feel ‘challenged’ in some way. If the pattern continues to the second stage, the emotion escalates and finally the emotion erupts. As I was working with this particular person on an old memory associated with an emotion she was feeling, she suddenly declared that it had happened a long time ago and no longer wished to continue, despite the fact that it was still highly charged for her. This is how the person quite unconsciously maintains their stuck position.
Here is an example of a three stage abreaction pattern one of my clients was living in her life. Her ardent desire was to form a meaningful, mutually supportive, adventurous relationship with a man. Whilst the men she got involved with demonstrated many of the qualities she was drawn to, they also demonstrated other qualities which clearly showed they did not want a committed relationship. My client’s pattern was to escalate her desire for them in hopes they would realise they truly wanted to be with her. When this didn’t happen, she would become deeply upset to the point where it significantly affected her day to day life in a prolonged way- the third stage of the abreaction pattern.
Once I highlighted this pattern to her and she could recognise it, we then worked on the attached emotion and the past memories where high levels of that particular emotion were still felt in present day. (When there is still strong emotion being felt in relation to a past event, it is usually still making its presence felt in the person’s life in some way.) Because of this, she was able to detach herself from the current unfulfilling relationship and see the ‘chosen’ person more objectively.
Another demonstration of the three stage abreaction pattern in action in daily life is that where a person controls others with their emotion. Take for example the parent who is affable and charming to everyone but in the home exhibits something quite different. The control might begin with a look or surliness, anger is expressed if what they want looks as though it might not take place and then ends in an explosion of temper if indeed what is wanted does not happen.
These patterns can be quite addictive and whilst they can have their intoxicating side also bring some kind of distress in their wake for the person practising the pattern and indeed in some cases, others around them.
I will talk in further posts about other patterns of chronicity. The more we can become aware of these operating in our lives and decide to do something about them, the better we will feel, and the better our lives will function.