Helping Social Anxiety

In a 1986 study, university students were asked to describe the kinds of situations that caused them to feel shy. A whopping 80% of them reported that talking to strangers and authority figures evoked this feeling in them. Other anxiety-provoking situations included meeting new people, asking for a date, attending social functions and ‘impressive people’ that is people viewed as of high status or attractiveness.

What these situations have in common is the possibility of judgment by others. If you are a person who suffers socially, and from the afore-mentioned study it seems that most people do to some extent, you may be aware that you wonder how you are coming across to others, worry about the quality of what you say, being accepted and may generally be very focused on yourself.

There is no doubt that social anxiety can cause varying degrees of unhappiness ranging from detraction from enjoyment of a social interaction or situation to an inability to function normally, fleeing situations where you are uncomfortable or avoiding them altogether.

Another study on social anxiety found that the kinds of situations that precipitated social anxiety could be divided into 4 categories:

1. formal speaking (giving presentations for example)

2. informal speaking and interaction

3. interactions requiring assertive behaviour (such as returning something to a store)

4. when being observed by others while working, writing, eating etc.

By the way, anxiety can develop when just thinking about being in any of these kinds of situations.

Your Historical Experiences

Very often this kind of anxiety has its roots in the past. It may come as no surprise to you that very often situations that occurred at school are implicated. For instance, I recently worked with someone who felt very inept in social situations. There were several situations that had occurred at school that were connected, not least feeling excluded from conversations and feelings of being talked and laughed about. We worked on these using IEMT. It was fascinating for my client to notice how her response to these old experiences changed and updated completely so that they were now viewed totally differently from how her younger self had interpreted them at the time, leading to a diminishment of her anxiety in the present.

The truth is that when we have a particular problem, there are very often these pockets of memories with an emotional charge that are preventing us from experiencing similar situations from our adult perspective. That is why we often know there is no reason for us to be afraid of others but are still held back in some way. Therapies like IEMT update our responses and bring all parts of us into alignment.

What You Think of Yourself

Inevitably, those who suffer with social anxiety form opinions and beliefs about who they are, their capabilities and shortcomings. We are of course our harshest critics. Dealing with old, highly charged upsetting memories contributing to social anxiety is part of it, but a fuller approach means tackling beliefs about ourselves, and perhaps even others and the world that are feeding into the problem. The stage is then set to really enhance your comfort within social situations and hypnotherapy comes into its own here.

Projecting Forward

Once the groundwork has been done, you will be feeling much better about interacting with others. You will more easily be able to tap into your resources. The stage is also set for you to really imagine being in social situations in the way you want to be. With the tools I provide, you can set yourself up for success and most importantly, ease and comfort being in the presence of others in all manner of situations.